I got my Mo-Jo back!

So I needed some time away to adjust to everything.... sadly my great plan for unemployment took a nasty turn for the worst! The company decided to hold my severance pay and I STILL have not collected that! Because they held everything.. They held my Financial aid AND prevented me from getting unemployment! I am going on 3 weeks with NO pay and I am feeling the squeeze! I asked Hammer for the money I loaned him in December... only 260.00 but that is still needed! And trust me... asking him for that was no easy task! I damn near was in tears doing it! But hopefully he was not lying when he said he would have it for me this week.... How will I ask for it again???

Then Whoa has been out of town for a week and a half! I am so lonely! But he sends me messages EVERY DAY about how much he misses me... On top of THAT, he has called me at least 4 nights early in the morning (3-4 a.m.) Just to talk and fall asleep with me:) ya, I feel so Blessed to be with him right now! He gets back in about a week so I'm happy about that n I really can't wait!!!

I had to get my mo-jo back! I have been down and out and caught up feeling bad for myself AND confused AND a bit scared since I am not in a comfortable situation... but I got up and went on a casting call the other day... I made some crazy connects and turns out I am supposed to do an Ed Hardy show as well as one for Marley and that's this month! Doors are opening and I am going to run in! I felt good with all the great feedback I have been getting and I have got to make something happen- soon!

Church has been more than awesome for me.. I go and I feel happy and like someone DOES understand me and what I'm going thru...i suppose that's the whole point right lol... well it feels good!

Dress-Up

I have been up and down with Whoa lately but not in a super sad way- He has just been going through a lot and so have I... So I was ever so happy to go down to MIA to chill with him at the studio yesterday before be had to go out of town again- I brought lunch and we ate together and talked about a lot of things.... He was sorry for leaving me out of some things.... I told him that I'm supposed to be his best friend and I just don't want to be left out- I don't want to be the LAST person he feels the need to tell about something... He understood and said he didn't mean to make me feel any type of way- I saw his point of view and now he was seeing mine... My car died right before I left so after a great conversation my baby came to the rescue and fixed my car.... He is calling me a lot more frequently and I respect that...

He wound up not leaving when he thought so he called me last night and wanted to come by... He asked me to "dress up" really sexy for him... I actually had an outfit from hustler and some stripper heels... I also had the patron he keeps at my place and an "adult card game" for us to play- he totally got hypnotized by my whole EVERYTHING and I ROCKED his world!!! he won the first game and I won the second... either way- let's just say we both got everything we wanted! We gave each other massages and experimented with massage oils! lol he had a great time ripping everything off of me... We decided that we now LOVE this kind of thing so I KNOW I will be giving him a lil show every once in a while... he held on to me like he was scared I would leave ALL night!

Then this morning when we got up we took our first shower together... It was lovely! It's not like we are all about sex or anything... we just talked and I rubbed his back and we laughed and had great conversation in the Steamy shower! I have never felt like this with anyone EVER before! I just feel like everything FITS! and I don't even have to try! After that we got dressed together and played around until it was time for him to leave and me to get my car checked... He doesn't want me to leave him... He LOVES what we have and says that of everything going on he doesn't want to lose ME! He's working really hard and I love him for that! I am just glad that we have each other! this is now 5 months of "US" - him being the man in my life and almost a year of him being my Best friend!

Haters can't touch what we have- although this past weekend they tried... that's a WHOLE LOOONNNGGG story but at the end of the day he knows everything they did and said and is totally backing ME! He said "Fuck those lame ass fake ppl who pretend to be my friend" more specifically he said that towards Mr Mayo!