B-day and Casting

Wow.... this weekend was Hammer's B-day.... I had to work on the Sony commercial.... but he did call me... he said that morning he went to church... which I was happy about, he went home and slept and he says a lot of ppl were blowing him up with the HAPPY B_DAY's so I was happy about that.... For a moment I remembered MY last birthday- and it sucked! and I got a lil sad thinking about a repeat this year... I got nervous about someone close to me letting me down again..... I don't know what I would do if I had to handle that this year....... I asked Hammer if he'll be able to be here for it.... or if we could celebrate it together early.... he said he'll be down here for July so I'm trying not to worry so much..... ALTHOUGH his timing record is way off.... and he never seems to hold up HIS end of the bargain..... What can I do right? "put up and shut up" OR "Leave"......

Anyway.... He explained his disappearance... and it does make sense... but I told him tat next time he should call me and let me know he won't be reachable for a period of time... this way I won't worry..... He agreed..... It's getting a little easier for me to simply accept and move on.... I'm not so sure that's a good thing but.... I'm trying my BEST to be optimistic....

Whoa is really sick.... has been for a few days now... I was gonna stop by and make him some hot tea again but he was throwing up and couldn't talk and I couldn't remember how to get to his condo so I just went home- He wants me to come by later today so I'll be making that trip... I'm such a good friend **Patting myself on the back** = )

Last night I had the casting.... I really think I did well but I guess you never really know.... if someone else with more experience was all around BETTER- I don't have a shot in hell.... it WAS my 3rd casting EVER so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself..... It's a lot harder this way.... usually I just get booked... but to get thrown in the mill with 500 other girls who are either beautiful OR talented.... neither OR BOTH..... lol.... it's not easy.... but it is an experience anyone and everyone in the "Bizz" should be familiar with... nothing in this world comes easy.... not entirely anyway....

So there's this NEW guy "Great Pretender"....met him the other day on the set- 26, 6'3", X ball player, ambitious, no kids but a gf of 2 years.... we are really kool.... I mean that! In no way would I ever wanna disrespect my relationship OR his.... we showed each other pix of our "hearts" and shared stories... he's cute though.... said he had to "build up the courage to speak to me". When Rob called me he got jealous cuz I got so happy... He says he likes me cuz I'm so easy to talk to.... And when we are on the set together it's PURE COMEDY!!! I hope we stay friends....