NoneYa= None of ur bizz!!

You know.... Today is really making me think- **Ms. Celebrity** had what she thought was "Perfection"... there were moments when she swore this was it.... she had finally experienced her last first kiss.... She thought this time she must have done it right because this time was working... but she had the carpet ripped right out from under her. And she is crashing... My heart goes out to her.... not for pity but because I can relate to her... And I know how bad it hurts

Ms. Celebrity has taken a very different approach though. She made a public announcement and is currently the talk of the town... I have "center of attention" for the very same thing she is and it hurts... The fingers pointing, the whispers, the "I told you so" that people are never too shy to share. When it was my turn, I dug myself a deep hole and climbed in.... I made myself very comfortable in the hole because I knew I would have to stay in there for a while....

Needless to say- I was lonelyand scared of facing myself much less the judgement of others... I have recently had to come to terms with the increasing number of people who wish me back in that hole. For their own selfish reasons, they would love to see my world come crashing down.... I feel like saying "Come on guys, I may be hurt and vulnerable... but I'm NOT gonna climb in bed with YOU to "feel better" about myself.... THAT would actually make me feel WORSE!!!" AND " Any guy who would wish bad things on me, no matter WHAT ur reasons are, I see right thru you and I would rather be alone and in PAIN than to come to you for ANYthing- EVER!!! YOU SUCK as a person and I'm just glad God didn't make me "experience" YOU to figure that out!"

I have come to the conclusion that if I have to face the reality that perhaps my "Perfection" is not what I thought... I will make the necessary changes in my own time.... I will not make any "public service announcement" or "declaration of freedom" and I will continue to do me.... The rest of the world will just have to catch up later... after I'm over it and on my way to happier times that is...