Sony Commercial Day 1

So today was the BIG day! I have been so excited just anticipating how today's shoot would be.... all the cool things that were sure to happen..... And yet my day was.... a bit stressful...

As I started out- I was lost and by a stroke of luck (which I like to think is God letting me know it'll be OK) I ran into someone who showed me where to go... he happened to be one of the CREW.... After a while I made friends with some people I didn't work with before and got to see a lot of people I recently did some jobs with- We had a lot of fun! Until Bill had to be taken away by the paramedics... I was so scared for him... He was on the roof and fell out into a seizure... he was foaming at the mouth and all.... when they were finally able to get him to stop he couldn't remember it had happened at all... all I could think of was Static- Today was the funeral in Kentucky and I obviously couldn't go....

I couldn't stop thinking about Hammer all day... I don't know what is wrong and it's kind of freaking me out... I'm hurting for him and I don't even know why.... Hammer says everything between he and I are good... But I need to hear it again to believe it.... Sometimes my mind says to just let it all go... to just exhale and move forward without all this... but my heart won't let me.... I just can't... And I think that hurts me more....

Now here I am..... By myself... And I must say.... These days I have felt more alone than ever before... I don't know what I'm going thru but I sure wish this faze would pass already... I don't think I can take too much more.... Well,... I guess I can get myself ready for bed... tomorrow is day two of the commercial... and who knows what's gonna happen,...