What IF??

I feel like I'm being swept up in a whirl wind of WHOA! lol.... He called me at 8:30 this morning just to put a smile on my face. He was so funny! We had a really good conversation and in it he asked what I would do if I got prego.... I paused for a Milli-second and thought about him and me and finding that out and how I would feel and what I might do.... Once the Milli-second was over I told him it would depend on our situation.... like where we were and if we were good or not. I didn't feel a sense of panic or urgency which I felt in the past when I thought about having kids.... I felt like if he was there it would be OK..... I can't see myself being a "baby mama".... and don't wanna be a knocked up girlfriend.... I want to be a fiance, then a WIFE.... and I want to enjoy being married and having my husband to myself for a little while. Then I want to have a baby.....

He doesn't seem like the type to run out on you..... So I asked what he would WANT me to do.... He said he would want me to keep it.... I was taken back a bit with the thought because he is the first guy to seriously say he would want to have a baby with me.... other guys say it cuz they think it's what a girl wants to hear even though they have no intention on being WITH her.... but he said it like a husband would say it with all the "We" and "Us" talk..... I liked it....

Because I don't want us to ever have to deal with something unplanned like that I know I need to be EXTRA careful.... and that's how I have been so.... it's all good....

All I can think about lately is my FUTURE.... I want to have a marriage- a GOOD one... and be financially secure.... I want a baby and the nice home.... I want to cook dinner and wake up next to the same person every morning.... I want to share my daily activities and check in with someone...... I'm hoping that this is where we are heading..... He already does the check in calls, asks about our future..... takes my opinion into consideration and treats me like I'm his # 1 and ONLY.... I guess I'll know by May 1st how serious he really is about me.....

He said he has something for me- tonight he will coming over and he's ALL mine until I go to work in the morning.. = ) I asked for a clue and he said it smells good... He doesn't know this but I never got a REAL gift before.... Never from a guy I was with.... and yes that includes birthday's v-day, Christmas..... and not even just as a "I thought of you today" thing. I am the one who always gives so I'm excited just to hear he got me something.... I only get the "I'm sorry" flowers and candy.... or the "I'm trying to win you over" crap.... never "just because you're you"...

Whoa seems like a keeper! hmmmm