The run down....

So,... this past week has been a roller coaster for me and seemed to only be spiralling DOWN...... Wed and Thurs Whoa made plans with me..... BOTH days he had to cancel.... Then Friday he asked me to go to an early breakfast to make up for it all..... Well loooong story short- he wound up not coming until 12 and then decided to go to the DMV first..... which had me BLOWN! I was soooo upset cuz I felt like "DAMN! do u even care?".... I called and was stressed and tired of waiting to go to lunch with him because he might cancel again and I was just not having that... so i left for lunch on my own..... he called me 3 min after I left my job and was like "Babyyyy,..... Something just came up and I can't make lunch today...." My blood was boiling and I flipped the hell out! I told him he was selfish and just doesn't care about how I feel...... I was crying and then he was like.... "wait....no no no!!!! Baby, don't cry!!!! I was playing- I'm at ur job now! I'm sitting out here for real!" He came to meet up with me and I was not able to get myself together in time.... so he saw the tears..... We went to eat and talk.... My hunger was GONE! and we had a long sit down..... I asked him how he would feel if I said i couldn't do this with him anymore.... if he would even care.... He got sad instantly and asked if that's what I'm saying.... I told him no but how would he feel.... he said he would be hurt and that he just can't let me go.... that I'm so important to him and he doesn't mean to do the things he does... that sometimes I just have to stop him and make him realize what he's doing..... He said not to worry or cry cuz everything with us is good and we are fine and that I don't need to stress..... after talking about "us" for what seemed like an hour.... we got in the car and talked about politics and random news and updates in the world.... he stopped and said... "this is why I have always liked you- because we can always talk about every and anything....." and I agree.... not many guys can make me laugh when I'm crying..... But he said through all his stress he hasn't lost his sense of humor and he's glad cuz that's what's getting him through..... He's a really good guy..... He said he only wants to be with me and he knows this and that he knows he's the only person I'm with..... He still doesn't wanna do the title thing.... and I'm trying to relax on it for a lil while..... We both played hookie for a few hours and stole some precious moments for "US"..... it was good and I was happy

Sat Whoa was supposed to come see me and bring me the gift he got me.... He called and woke me up at 10 in the morning and said he was trying to get things together and figure out what time he was coming..... I was so excited that I didn't have to remind him.... he said Friday that he is not gonna just SAY he's gonna change... he's gonna do it- so this was good..... he never came tho and it was a rough evening.... it was the 20th b-day of my home girl who passed away 2 years ago..... so the whole crew got together and chilled and drank and --- oh! CRAZZZZY girl on girl action= AKA wound up makin out with Brother Bears GF ( MA) not sure if he saw but if he did.... I guess he liked it cuz he sure didn't stop it..... Mr Mayo also started to get emotional cuz he drank wayyyy too much (as always) and J-mo was pissed so he told him the truth about me not ending up with Mr Mayo and that he should start to move on.... harsh perhaps but true nonethleless AND not news cuz I have told him so many times....

Yesterday (Sunday) he text to tell me that he had spent the night in the hospital because his best friend was there... he said he didn't get any sleep and he was stressed cuz everything was crazy and he would call..... I felt so bad cuz I know it sucks to have a friend in the hospital.... so I'm waiting patiently....

Last night J-mo Said he didn't think me and Whoa would last.... I was so upset I almost cried but I got a grip and he never saw me get emotional.... I just had to be quiet for a while so I could keep composure.... Mz Brown jumped to my defense just for the WAY he says things and I think she was watching my face drop when he was talking... He didn't mean to hurt my feelings.... And I'm not sure why I need to keep listening to people anyway... I guess I just want to know I'm doing the right thing.....