Ask, and yee shall receive...

As we know- I have been trying to figure out my next move... Isn't it funny that when you are going through something everything seems to touch on that subject a little? Well, Church has been focused partially on "daring to Pray BIG" my pastor made a great point that we tend to be "safe" and pray these wimpy little prayers... Prayers that are not heart felt, not truly what we need.... we ask things in general and not case specific... But God is GREAT and can do ANYTHING... therefore, we should dare to Pray BIG... not safe! I asked for help and I have been asking..... I asked to be pointed in the "right" direction.... So I wrote Boss Man from the Art dept I work with- It's slow season so I wasn't sure how well the news would be received... I told him that I will be a full time student and that I hope this allows me a chance to work more with his team.... HE WROTE BACK! He told me to write him again next week!!! that he has a possible job for me coming up the first week of August! I am so happy! Even though this is not set in stone... It has only been 4 days since the news and the door is opening!!! I don't want to get too excited yet but I can't help but be thankful for this bit of help God is sending my way.... Tomorrow I will be reaching out to other resources and seeing if I can get any feedback from them....

Today's service was GREAT! I got my cousin to come with me and she instantly fell in love with it as I did.... It feels so good to be around family and today I spent the WHOLE day with her and my Brother.... I feel like I'm growing.... and hopefully I'm able to touch those around me.....

Been Sick

So this past week I have been deathly sick with a virus causing fevers of 102.4..... I couldn't even get out of my bed until yesterday and even now walking too much makes me dizzy... hopefully in the next day or so I'll be back to my old self......

I was really sad that I didn't see Whoa at first (last Sat and Sun) and we didn't even talk- I literally could not get a hold of him...I had a few panic attacks because I started to think maybe he was pulling a Hammer episode on me..... Turns out he just needed time to get some work done.... they have really been putting pressure on him. But I can't forget to put myself first so when he did finally call on Sunday I was very blunt- "Do you want me in your life or not? Because I want to be here but it feels like your avoiding me...." and he said "No No, Baby, I DO want you in my life! I've just been blah blah blah" and then I told him he needs to consider me too.... Don't put me through that- If I needed time away to think or work I would tell him I won't be reachable for X amount of time and I expect the same in return. I think we have an understanding- although I understand this is something he has always done so I don't expect the next time to be different..... not right away that is....

Since Whoa knows I am sick he has made a point to constantly call and text to check up on me.... He said he wishes he could be here to take care of me but they sent him the ATL to promote for a week : ( but the good news is that he will be back in about 5 days!!!! And I can't wait! I'll be healthy and able to enjoy the time....

MaMa Dukes had surgery today! BroHam just called and told me she was out so I'm relaxed. she has wanted to have her boobs done for as long as I can remember and she finally got her wish so I'm happy for her!!

Mr Mayo came to have lunch with me today... We finally got a chance to talk about the house party and everything that went down... I think we have a better understanding so hopefully it won't have to happen again. But in our big ass clique.... once is never enough!